How to fight with your partner?

It is a bit too dreamy to believe that your relationship will not have arguments and fights. It is natural, even healthy as studies suggest to have tiffs in a relationship. It is an indicator of the fact that there are things that affect you and also shows that you want to give in yourself to the relationship. However, how you pick those battles and how you choose to bring yourself in those conversations is where the game changes, let us find out a bit on how to set grounds for getting into a fight. 

Try and use softened start-up when getting into an argument. Just stick to facts and add a bit of personalization to it. ‘I feel’ ‘I believe’ sentences go a long long way. When one chooses to introduce an issue with respect and courtesy the discourse changes and being able to get through your partner becomes a lot easier. Try this the next time you are in a fight. You will be surprised by the outcome. 

Start saying yes, it is that simple. Accepting your true self in front of your partner is the bare minimum you can do. Yes, there are issues that are being popped from both ends but accepting your mistakes and acknowledging them only makes you honest in the relationship. This also helps your partner in understanding their issues and therefore many on the surface issues are taken care of instead of them turning into pointless arguments. 

No one wins in a fight. As much as proving a point and going to any extent to be able to do that seem to be an ideal scenario it isn’t. Take a second and ask yourself are you saying things because you want to add value to the discourse or you are simply doing that to settle scores. Think your responses through. Many times we are just saying things to hurt one another even if we do not really mean them. 

Listening is the key. You can go on and on about your side of the story but if you are not willing to hear their part of the story then unfortunately you are just not listening. You are just busy putting out your part of the story and that will definitely come across as selfish and unavailable. The best would be to hear the other person out and then put your points across. Give each other spaces to complete their thoughts. Patience is the key here. 

A lot of times things do not bother us but because it bothers someone we know, or someone feels that it should bother us becomes a reason why we end up picking fights. Ask yourself, is it something that really bothers me, or am I just operating from a place of how I should be operating. You will eventually realize that it is a complete non-issue and it was the influence and not you talking. 

Stop bottling up, that is a complete disservice to yourself. When something bothers you bring it to the table. Don’t wait up for an argument to stem up. Where you come in with all the issues that you have been facing in a relationship and unpack them in front of your partner. It is just overwhelming and more often than not is a waste of effort. Instead, give yourselves the designated time to introspect and see the issues that are bothering the two of you. Draw a nice bath, put on some light music, and share those with each other.