There are plenty of myths that float around and affect relationships. Today let us break down some of those and see what one can do when they feel like they are bogged down by these roadblocks
A good relationship is such where you do not have to put in the work!
This is the most common red flag and also the one which is still believed in by so many across the world. What is it in life that does not need work? Your relationship with your parents requires you to put in the work, your relationship with your body and your mental peace requires work. So why would your relationship be effortless? Relationships are everyday jobs, they require love, tenderness, and care. Having said that, one has to be able to differentiate between working on your relationship and working to keep the relationship afloat. There is a thin line between the two. The efforts from both parties are equally important as a parameter to judge if you are working on building something beautiful together.
Love means knowing each other’s needs/wants without actually communicating
Another one of those classic examples. How would someone know you are thirsty if you will not put the effort to tell someone you need water? How does that narrative completely change when you have to communicate your emotional needs? Do you want a hug? Ask for it. Do you want to talk about something? Ask for it. You can’t just sit there and assume that your partner will magically be able to travel inside your brain and figure what is going in there. All good relationships sit on excellent communication. Make that expression part of your day-to-day activities. It takes time but once you get past the initial awkwardness of wanting to be honest about your thought process things become a lot easier.
Couples therapy means your relationship is hanging by a thread
It is correct that by the time couples go in for therapy it is usually a time when they are not able to respond to the issues on their own. However, all relationships do not need to end the same way. Seeking outside help means you both still believe in each other and what you have created together. Holding on to that thought is important. Also, therapy is professional help. Go in with the mindset that the person sitting next to you wants to hear you out and offer advice that can be constructive not just to you as a couple but for you as a person. It is worth the effort and being venerable in front of a stranger but going in with a point of view of wanting to change things is important.
Jealousy is healthy in a relationship
Since when have we started thinking of toxic behavior as healthy? Honestly, jealously if that is what you feel in a relationship has a lot to say about you and your security in the relationship as opposed to your partner. No matter how hard your partner tries, they can’t walk your shoes to change how you feel. This is a self-reflective journey where you need to be able to understand why do you feel how you feel. The effects of being jealous are different for different people. The solution here is to be able to talk about how you feel and not just keep it within you burning on your own. Talk about it, seek external help. Do not let jealousy take over your personality.
You need to completely change yourself in order to be in a relationship
A relationship is supposed to be around who you are and not who you might become or envision to be. While it is amazing to be working on yourself and constantly trying to better yourself. It should not be a byproduct of wanting to do it to impress someone. That is not the motivation that you are looking for. It is unhealthy and leads to many self-worth issues later when you see yourself in other relationships. Your ethos is what defines you, it is why so many people feel connected to you and have been in and out of your life. Do not lose that beautiful charm because one person does not appreciate it.