It is important to differentiate a relationship from a situationshup as much as it may sound like modern day lingo. Situationship is real and many of us find ourselves stuck in it. Let us together debunk some of the signs and try and stay clear of being in that unhealthy space.
You are still TBD on the status of the relationship
If both or one of you are still not sure about the commitment and have been pushing that conversation into the future. It might be a sign of a situationship. Hey! We are not saying one should not take time before they make a decision of dating/being with someone long term but one has to also draw a line on how long they can keep the other person off the hook. Have the “what are we” talk when you feel right, there is absolutely no reason to be scared or ashamed of bringing that up. If your partner avoids having this talk when you bring it up, it’s another indication that they do not want to put the relationship in concrete terms.
But we aren’t that serious yet!
If that is the sort of standard response you get to any further development in the process it is important to use that as an indicator and be crystal clear about your expectations. If you feel you will not be comfortable with a “we aren’t serious-serious” situation, use your voice. Let them know that it isn't something that works for you. And ask them to help and find a middle ground here. Set timelines to visit important questions, understand progress with checkpoints and major life events. Importantly, save your mental wellbeing by not committing to something alone.
Have you met their friends?
Now that is a tricky one, and it is based off the assumption that you have now known the person you are dating/trying to be with for a couple of months at least if not more. If in that scenario, you do not hear a mention of their friends or there is no initiation of wanting to introduce you to their private circles please know that this is a major red flag. A person who would want to really be with you would want to let you in their intimate spaces. Boundaries are important but pitch blind darkness is not acceptable.
The person works on convenience and ghosts you
Well, it ain't rocket since it brings 2+2 together. If you see clear signs of ghosting and conversations based on convenience, it is probably wise to take a step back and understand how that sort of behaviour affects you. In any relationship one should be able to count on the other partner for listening and being there for you and vice versa. Defining the relationship from the early stages can help you both manage expectations about the relationship and understand how to act. If you don’t do so, this leads to a lack of consistency.
All relationship based challenges are unique and have to be looked at from the inside and outside of it all. With Mantor you can start your journey towards a fulfilling relationship. Click here to access Destination Satisfaction, a program created especially for folks who are either looking to get back into the dating game or are looking to take their relationship to a better place.